Should've Never Let Her Do This
by DetectiveMcGeek
Summary: What if Maura dies in the warehouse? Inspired by gettingdesperate's tumblr photo.


**Hello! Here's a fanfic I wrote in light of the season premiere of Rizzoli and Isles! Yay! Except it's more like it's after the season finale rather than after the premiere... Just go with it.**

**Inspired by this pic from gettingdesperate on tumblr.**

** post/24586525472/au-rizzoli-and-isles-maura-dies-in-the**

**I was like, "I think I want to write a fanfic for this" and so I did.**

**I don't own Rizzoli and Isles, or the characters!**

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"We shoulda never let her do this." Jane's voice caught in her throat and she was staring off into the distance, angry, scared, sad, torn.

_"This is my first undercover assignment," Maura said, letting Jane feed wires through her clothes. "Wait!" _

_ Jane looked at her expectantly. _

_ "I'm doing a U.C.," Maura said, lowering the pitch of her voice. "I feel like Donny Brasco." Maura smiled at Jane, who was maneuvering a microphone up through the front of Maura's frilly blouse._

_ "Well you don't look like him, can you keep it down please?" Jane snorted, her voice pleading with Maura. She glanced over at the Korsak and Frankie in the patrol car next to the warehouse garage, fixing sound bugs and making sure they could hear every word Maura said. "I'm gonna tuck this microphone right here." Jane pinned the microphone to the inside of Maura's blouse, right under her collarbone._

_ "This microphone doesn't make me look like I have three breasts, does it?" Maura asked nervously._

_ "Hmm, well, you know, some guys are into that," Jane said, instantly relieving Maura's worries. Maura smiled._

_ "Is-is this what you would wear to an undercover operation? I feel a little dressy," Maura said, looking down at her attire. _

_ Jane partially lifted the front of Maura's shirt to make sure the wires were tucked in. Maura arched her back into Jane, intentionally or not, causing Jane to suck in her bottom lip as she crouched down to examine Maura's front and left sides, tucking in the microphone wire as she went._

_ "No, I'd wear a flak jacket," Jane gruffed out._

_ Maura huffed. "You know, I know this sounds vain, but I couldn't be a cop," Maura said, looking at the top of Jane's head._

_ Jane lifted her head and looked at Maura's face for a second before replying, "You? Vain?" Jane turned her head back down to continue tucking in the wire. _

_ "Well even _you_ look a little chunky in a flak jacket," Maura said defensively, trying to convey what she meant: that Jane was pretty much the slimmest woman she knew._

_ Maura lifted her left arm as Jane maneuvered behind her. _

_ "Wow, really? Okay, thank you very much," Jane said as she adjusted the wire behind Maura's back. Maura looked down at her own shirt, smoothing it out as Jane spoke. "Well you know what? I think your little medical examiner getups make you look like a trash collector." Jane smirked._

_ Maura 's mouth opened into an 'O' and she stared for a second at Jane's face as Jane stood straight. "You do? So do I! I always feel a little dumpy," Maura said. _

_ Jane straightened up and looked over her best friend and smiled. "Put your jacket on."_

_ Maura slipped her arms through the jacket._

_ "You wanna know what's truly odd about you?" Jane asked._

_ "Nah, I'm not sure," Maura said, shaking her head as she flicked her hair off her neck and out of her jacket. _

_ Jane adjusted the front parts of Maura's jacket, making sure she looked good, even though Maura didn't need Jane's help with that. _

_ "You are the dumbest genius I know," Jane said, glancing into Maura's eyes for a second and patting Maura's shoulders. _

_ "'I'm not sure' means pause, it means: do not blurt your subconscious thoughts," Maura said, smirking at Jane._

_ "Alright, sorry," Jane smiled in defeat to Maura, as an apology, as she adjusted Maura's jacket collar. _

_ "Is this displaced aggression because I get to go undercover and you have to be my backup?" Maura asked, rolling her sleeves up and snapping with both hands. Jane brushed forward some of Maura's hair so it fell in front of her shoulder._

_ "Yes," Jane nodded once and put her hands on her hips._

_ Maura and Jane stared at each other for a moment._

_ "We should get in there," Korsak said from the car, nodding._

_ Jane and Maura turned toward him, Maura slightly jumped with excitement._

_ "Ok!" Maura whispered to Korsak, giving him and Frankie a thumbs up before turning to Jane again and brushing her hair out with her hands."Let's go."_

_ "Listen to me, okay? This is serious," Jane said reaching forward to lightly hold Maura's arms, just above her elbow. "Somebody's trying to kill you to stop you from investigating a murder." Jane looked directly into Maura's eyes, trying to make her understand the gravity of the situation._

_ "You don't have to tell me that. I was there when he nearly drove over my mother," Maura said with a serious expression._

_ "You know we're only letting you do this because we're hoping that whoever this guy is, he is desperate enough to follow you into that warehouse… and try it again. Alright, but we're gonna be there this time." Jane looked reassuringly into Maura's eyes. _

_ Maura smiled before grabbing on to Jane's elbows. "I'm ready." Maura smiled confidently, readily. Jane couldn't help but smile as well. She gazed into Maura's eyes. This was her best friend, her lovely dear, amazing best friend. _

_ "Wait," Maura said, ruining the moment in Jane's head. "What is it you guys say to each other _right _before you pull the string?" _

_ Jane blinked and her smile faded. "It's called a _sting_, Maura."_

_ "Sting," Maura repeated back at her, removing one of her hands from Jane's elbows to point, making sure she got the words._

_ Jane still had a grip on Maura's arms and Maura replaced her hand back on Jane's elbow. They gripped each other. _

_ "We say, 'don't get made'," Jane said. _

_ "I like that," Maura said smiling brightly and tilting her head to the left a little. "Don't get made." Maura lowered her voice and squinted her eyes a little, trying to sound serious. _

_ Jane looked at Maura and smiled sadly. Jane rubbed her thumbs on Maura's shoulder. For some reason, she felt like a parent watching their kid go off to college: they say they're ready for it, but you just don't want to let go, you just want to hold their hand for a little longer and tell them they can wait a little. And maybe tell them you love them. _

_ "Don't look so worried," Maura said confidently to Jane. "What could go wrong?" Maura raised her eyebrows and shook Jane's elbows lightly. _

_Jane allowed a quick thought in her mind, as if she were actually saying it to Maura: Hey, I love you okay? So be safe._

_Maura was the first to let go of the semi-embrace. Jane's hands reluctantly left Maura's arms as Maura turned away to head toward the burnt warehouse. _

_ Maura entered the warehouse with the blueprints and a flashlight. She was wearing rubber boots; good for walking through burnt rubble. She stepped carefully, looking around to see if anyone from the fire station decided to show up as well. She stopped and slowly unraveled the blueprint onto a table._

_ "You looking for where Craig died?" Maura turned around, suddenly nervous, to see one of the men from the fire station approaching her through the burnt structures from about ten feet away. _

_ "Yes," Maura answered. Kevin began to walk toward her, non-menacingly. _

"_It's Kevin Flynn," Maura heard Jane whisper to Frost from behind a burnt out wall. Maura's nervousness quickly eased when she remembered Jane was right there to protect her._

"_We found him right about here," Kevin said, circling to where Maura was standing. _

_Jane peeked out at Maura from between a shelf of ashen supplies. _

"_You know, my grandfather died fighting a fire," Kevin said._

_ "I'm sorry," Maura replied evenly. _

_ "The city kept cutting back, and cutting back," Kevin said desperately, standing directly in front of Maura. "How do you fight all these fires without enough firefighters, huh?" _

_ Maura looked at him carefully, suspiciously, analyzing every movement he made. _

_ "You shouldn't have come here by yourself," Kevin said, shaking his head. _

_ Maura turned her head slightly toward the wall she knew Jane and Frost were behind. She felt so safe. Jane was her best friend and she would never let anything happen to her. Maura tried to think of Jane, because thinking of Jane, she realized, made her fearless._

_ "Why not?" She asked calmly. She knew why._

_ "You knew why now," Kevin said. "I had to make sure people understand that they can't just keep laying us off."_

_ "How did you do that, Kevin?" Maura said, shifting on her heels._

_ "You know how, I burned a few buildings," Kevin smirked. "And then Craig, started digging around." His smirk disappeared. "Just like you."_

_ Maura looked at his face, he looked remorseful in a way, but more protective… of himself._

_ "You both shooulda just left it alone," he said, desperation spilling out into his voice._

_With a sudden movement, he reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun. Maura saw the flash of silver before she screamed, "Kevin don't!" _

_In that moment, two simultaneous gunshots rang through the warehouse, startling Jane, Frost, and the new and unexpected addition of Dean into action. _

_Maura's eyes closed. _

Jane kneeled in front of the cold gray slab of stone protruding from the ground. Bright pink flowers were set in front of it. Jane smiled sadly. Maura liked it when Jane wore pink.

Two months. It took Jane two months to come back to Maura's grave. Maura was buried a week and a half after she was shot by Kevin Flynn. Jane attended the funeral, of course, but remained detached, ice cold. Jane gave a speech, acknowledging Maura's accomplishments, telling small anecdotes of her experiences with Maura, lightly teasing Maura's wikepedia-like brain. Jane even mentioned Maura's turtle-no, sorry, tortoise, Bass. Maura was her best friend. _Her_ best friend. Maura was the best friend Jane had ever had. Hell, Maura was so much more than that. Maura was… _so _much more than that that.

_Jane ran over to Maura's crumpled body, completely disregarding the corpse of Kevin Flynn a few feet away. She saw a glimpse of Doyle before he got away, Dean chasing after him. Jane let him go, her only thoughts were of Maura. _

"_Maura!" Jane shouted as she kneeled onto the ground, the knees of her pants immediately soaking up a warm liquid. Jane pulled up Maura's shirt to expose her stomach and chest. Blood was gushing out of an open hole right below her left breast. Maura looked pale, her eyes were closed. Jane put both of her hands over the hole, putting as much pressure as she could. She had to stop the bleeding._

Jane traced her fingers over Maura's headstone, outlining the words that meant everything and nothing to Jane.

_There was so much blood, and it wasn't stopping. _

_Frost ran over to the other side of Maura and placed two fingers at her neck, checking for a pulse. He froze for a moment before he looked at Jane solemnly, but she wasn't looking at him, her eyes were glued to Maura. Just then he started comprehending what she had been yelling at him. _

"_Frost, call an ambulance! We have to get Maura to the hospital!" Jane shouted._

_She applied more pressure to Maura's torso._

"_Come on, baby, stay with me. Stay with me, okay? Stay with me. Come on, you can do it, stay with me now. Don't leave me, please, baby, please don't leave me Come on, Maura, Come ON!" Jane muttered and screamed, her voice hoarse, her head felt like it was swimming. All she could see was Maura's closed eyes and the blood seeping out between her fingers._

"_Jane." Jane could barely hear Frost. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Jane, she's gone."_

_Born August 7, 1976. _That day was the day the most amazing woman Jane ever knew came to be.

_Jane kept shouting at Frost to get an ambulance, to call for help, even though Jane knew people were already on their way into the building. She kept applying pressure, maybe with enough pressure Maura would open her eyes again. With enough pressure, Maura would breathe again. With enough pressure, Maura would be go to the hospital, be patched up and in bed for a few weeks, and then Jane would take her home and it would be as if this nightmare isn't actually happening. _

_Jane's entire body felt numb. She knew she was screaming for _something_, but she couldn't hear herself. Frost was trying to pull her away, but she kept fighting to stay near Maura. She kicked and punched him away, knowing the only thing she could do _right now _was apply more pressure to Maura's wound. She had to wake up._

_Frost and Korsak's combined effort finally lifted Jane off the ground. She kicked and screamed as she was half dragged, half carried away from Maura's body. She could feel it. Inch by inch, every inch she got further away from Maura, the more the tightening in her chest consumed her. _

_Korsak and Frost set her down outside the warehouse and she collapsed, worn out, torn. Her chest was heaving with the effort it took her to breathe. Her head was spinning in circles as she tried to find where she went wrong in the last vital moments of Maura's life. What could she have done to save Maura?_

_Korsak and Frost respectfully turned their backs as Jane broke down. She shouted at herself, but no sound came out from her hoarse, damaged vocal chords. _

"_Maura!" Jane kept screaming, over and over again to herself. Her mouth was saying her name, but her mind could only think one thing: I loved her, God I loved her._

"_Maura!" _

Jane began to trace over the letter 'D' but could no longer see the words. Tears blurred her vision as her chest tightened and her mouth went try. Suddenly her entire body felt sore and she felt dizzy, as if she was about to crumble over and explode. Jane took a deep breath and blinked, the tears finally spilling out and landing on the ground.

That was the final straw.

Jane's body crumpled as heaving sobs wracked her body. She hadn't broken down like this since the day it happened. No matter what, she wouldn't let herself think about this. She did everything she could to keep herself busy. She threw herself into work, not bothering to go home most nights. When she wasn't at work, she was torturing her body at the gym, letting the pain and sweat occupy her thoughts instead of a certain ex-M.E. She hadn't spoken to her mother in weeks, who had been still living in Maura's guesthouse with the permission of Constance Isles. Jane couldn't bring herself to go over there; she knew she wouldn't be able to handle it.

Jane kicked out everyone who tried to speak to her. She retreated into herself, a silent place where she didn't think, she just did. She didn't talk, she just nodded and went with it. She was more icy than ever, not a wink of emotion passing over her. She wouldn't let herself fall down. She couldn't let herself be _weak_. She couldn't think, she couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat. She felt like she couldn't do anything.

She hadn't let herself feel.

A small voice in the back of Jane's head popped up. She knew exactly what Maura would say at this point, if she were here. Maura would talk about displacement, or assertiveness, or some other kind of defense mechanism. She would tell Jane she needed to deal with her grief in a healthy way, through those seven stages or whatever.

Jane calmed down and straightened up back onto her knees before she allowed a small smile. She brushed a single tear leaking out of her left eye.

"God, I miss you Maura," Jane said as she brushed her fingertips over the words at the bottom of the stone. "Once in a lifetime kind of woman," Jane spoke softly.

Jane could see Maura's beautiful face in her mind. She could hear her voice, spouting off facts that Jane never cared about but always appreciated.

"I wish I'd told you, Maura. I wish every day of my life I told you. I love you. I love you so much," Jane said, another wave of tears spilling out from her eyes.

Jane swallowed her sobs and she stood up and looked around. What a beautiful sunny day it was today. The sunlight cast a glow around the cemetery, giving it a peaceful look that completely defied a stereotypical image of such. Jane fondly thought that Maura would have dragged hour out of bed at 5:30 this morning to go on a run, had she still been here. Jane would argue and Maura would plop herself down on the bed, agreeing to let Jane sleep for just 'five more minutes'. The next thing they knew, it would be 7:30. Maura would make her go on the run anyway.

Jane looked one last time at the stone.

_Maura Isles. _

Jane sighed again. She looked up at the sky, sending out thoughts to Maura, hoping she was happy and safe, wherever she is, hoping she's not in pain. Take care of her, if anyone's there with her.

Jane turned back to the grave one last time before she walked away.

"I love you."

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**Hope you liked it! This was kind of a tear-jerker for me, but I'm a weenie when it comes to Rizzles so I basically die at everything. **


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